Self-love is a step towards freedom from pain

Being close to February 14th, I wrote this to remind readers of perhaps the most important love story for you to create – the story of love for your self (& I deliberately separate those words).

I struggled for a long time with this concept when I heard the word self-love, believing it was conceited and somehow wrong. It always reminded me of the disapproving looks parents gave to a friend who wore his leopard print skin-tight trousers back in the 70’s! “He’s so fond of himself”, they would scorn!

Self-love is self-care

By guiding people along the road to wellbeing and freedom from chronic pain using the mindbody approach of SIRPA, I've come to a vastly different understanding of the term self-love.

Indeed, I think it's one of the fundamental keys to achieving freedom from symptoms.

Be kind to your self

Being kind to your self, giving your self the time to tend to your own needs and wishes, giving your self the time to even consider what those needs and wishes might be, giving your self grace and patience when things aren't working out the way you'd planned, offering your self compassion and understanding are all vital skills for relief.

This self-care and tenderness creates a very different, warm calm feeling in your mind and body, and allows your rest and recovery system the chance to come online, generating healing & homeostasis - so different from the harsh, almost abusive tone we may sometimes offer ourselves, and over which we often revisit & chastise ourselves, likely stirring up symptoms even more.

Reframe your self-talk

So next time you notice you're talking harshly to your self, I encourage you to reframe your mindset and instead talk to your self like your best friend might, with compassion & understanding. Maybe remember a favourite phrase of mine:

"There's no such thing as a mistake,

just an opportunity to learn & grow!"

Lots more guidance & tools for wellbeing & freedom from pain are offered in my 10 Step coaching programme.

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